Lolz

This is kinda my own secret blog. Very farny no? It never occured to me that blogging could get this fun. I mean, pouring out ideas into the vastness of cyberspace did sound akward in the first place. C'mon, let's face it, I remember the days I actually despised blogging. 'Its a waste of time la da!', 'Got better things to do la!' and even 'U blog? Zha tou!' was always what we talked about back in secondary 5. Anywayz, can let me practise my Ing-ge-lish oso. Laf Out Laud.

Oh, before that, since this is gonna be my new secret blog, let's see. My name is Vanryuzuki. Vanryuzuki Sumiki. I didn't come up with this name, but someone really close to me did, until we kinda never saw each other again. I live in this twisted world of never ending torment, deep dark conspiracies and chocolates. Yup, I love chocs~ ^^ Its one of those precious reasons I'm still alive. Especially those with peanuts on top. Oooh~ crunchy, sweet little delectable babies. Rofl. I study in the Ministry of Bastards and Sadists (MBS), and I'm somewhere between University and a form 5 dropout. Nice. Despite all of this unimportant facts, I'm in love yet no one loves me. I survived drowning under a pool for 5 whole minutes. I watched my senior die. I walk past the same old school, same old neighbourhood and meet the same old people everyday. I've been to Japan, which is a dream come true. I've been betrayed, I've been robbed and I've lived through it all to write some crap on some silly website. Thrilling. Yet, worthwhile.

I recently picked up this acursed habit of blogging from a bunch of classmates. I tell you... these are really special people; each with their very own characteristics, style and gusto. Well me no wanna tell you names, cuz you know, then this wont be a secret no more rite? Lolz. Oh my... I'm even startin to type lazy. But I can let u in on a little secret. There are 21 of us. We don't look alike. We are not in any way bold. Most of us love to chat about the jitters of life. Some of us wear blue, while others just look blue. Some of us like another one of us, only to let the other one of us feel like the one of us is being creepy. We got couples. We got long time school mates. We have a crazy monitor. We have brotherly and sisterly love. And most importantly, we are on the same boat traveling on the same course towards STPM.

Sigh. I still don't know why I rant, but my life has been more than dull lately, and the exams are round the corner. So what the hell? If this is a way to release stress, I'm more than willing to do so, I'm desperate man! Well, not so desperate lar! There's alwayz DOTA, chatting with old classmates, go yum cha, sing K, go loiter around KL in a green MyVi. Seems live isn't that boring after all.

Ok, now to rant about my fewlings~

I'm rather paranoid when it come to facing life and its challenges. I see people I want to see. I avoid responsibilities. I sometimes juz want to find this really huge rocket that can send me to space into some distant planet where people will juz forget who I am (of course, I'm picky, so that planet's gotta have water, McDonalds and Burger Kings, though I dunno who's gonna run them). I have frens. I lose most of them because of time, distance and because of stupid meagre little misunderstandings. I sound very emotional hor? Lolz. Juz wanna get stuff off my chest. Cuz I dun think anyone will want to read this.

I dream of being a marine biologist, but ever since I got a B3 instead of my targetted A1 in SPM, that dream shattered, and I turned to Pshycology, which, franckly speaking, is definately NOT what I wanna be. I have no goals, I'm lost within the quagmire of forgotten time and space. You can call me a troubled kid, but I have my morals, believes, and principals towards life. I hate the way I look, because I can't have long hair. I love to read. I love English, and hopefully 1 day I'll write a book. But with the level I'm at that would be rather impossible.

Okie... Feel much better now. I don't really like who I am right now, but I love to think of who I'm going to be in the future. Anyway, juz don't waste your time reading this ok? Ok. Thx loads.

Nobody trully understands my wants and needs, but I live to make the people around me happy. But sometimes, after giving and giving and giving, you yearn for somethng, however small it may be, as a token. Like letting people know you are there. ^^ Ok that sounds really pathetic.

My motto: Been there, Done that. Now I've got to think about it.